This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
There r osticjed everywhere
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
