Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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