I smell stomach acid.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
