That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
