Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
