if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Having a random hookup so left but love u
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
