Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
