I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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