That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
