David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
