I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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