I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
