hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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