ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize