just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
