just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
