I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I can't turn off my feet"
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
