i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
