question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
