just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
