Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
