That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
