toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
