Don't make out with my wife yet
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
