Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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