i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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