She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize