Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
My liver just had a heart attack.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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