Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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