he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
