dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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