Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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