Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize