God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Drake has all the answers
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
