so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize