About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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