It's like God shit irony all over that family
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize