come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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