Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
