Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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