I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
