If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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