I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
