new low.... made out with someone while peeing
my being single is dangerous.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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