she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
