Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
