you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize