They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
