apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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