And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize