doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
