I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize