Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
