grandma shit on top of the toilet
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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