And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
