seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
