If i could tip my vagina, i would.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
