How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize