Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
