I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I need moral support for this bender
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
