I think I just saw someone hide a body.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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