You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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