If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
