I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
