they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
