Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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